We all share a common trait. We share the yearning of solutions lost to us in the sea of problems. We try logical steps, we make loads of guesses but most times we fall flat on our faces. Problem unsolved. We tinker and tinker with bits of mental bolts and gears but we end up with a cranky cranky engine one can hear a hundred miles off. We try.
I sit up every night surrounded by a river of problems and I throw solution pebbles at it but they always seem to bounce off; they refuse to sink. How will I pay for this? How can I make this so simple and fun a sloth would be motivated to walk to it and recommend it? These are some of the problems that plague me as I try to build a vision of mine. I started with my chest out. I was ready to confront the Minotaur of start ups. My swords wanted flesh. I wanted the head of the world to be placed beneath my throne. All would come to worship my mighty start up. Boy was reality a bitch. As I set off on my journey to conquer the world, the strap of my sandals gave up on me. I had recruited some dude, told him about my idea and he was set to work. Told him he’d get equity and I’d try my best to pay him. He backed out in the last minute. I had a product framework in my notebook framework but no one to help build it. So I followed popular advice and decided to learn how to code. Found out quickly it wasn’t for me. I’m grateful for the clarity it has provided me but programming languages and I could not have kids. I was a one man show. I did design, tried learning to code, recruiting, doing side work to fund it all. I got exhausted pretty fast. Kicked programming bye bye and decided to recruit someone who could do it better than me. I could bear to see the product suffer at my hands. If I had an option, I’d take having sex with Medusa’s head than see the product in agony.
One day I decide to tell a cousin about it so he can join me. He came in open arms. He had that quality I always wanted from people I’d work with. He was ready to learn anything to get it done. He learnt and learnt. Progress at fucking last!! Actually during this period he was unemployed. The moment he got a real job, his rear lights became dimmer in the distance. Employment was being a bitch. He still struggles to work on both to this day. I made the decision that we’d be a bootstrapped business from day one and would encourage any one who wanted to work on this project to have another job so we could plough cash in. I decided to recruit a friend who has a world of experience in computing. He handles the development now. Though things are slow, progress trickles in. Next thing, all our computers decided to crash. Mine was from a whole lot computer rendering and not switching it off for days on end, my cousin’s was from old age, my friend’s just thought it was cool to short circuit and fry everything. Some files were salvaged but all of mine were gone. I didn’t back up for some stupid reason. We’re back up again to a certain extent but we still have to buy my cousin a computer on the company’s tab well actually I think I have to do that cause I think it’s an investment in a dream. Another dudes expresses so much interest but backs out last minute again citing the usual ” I don’t want to invest so much in something I might never see returns from!” I was disappointed because him agreeing to join at first got me so enthusiastic. This dude builds A.I’s for Pete’s sake. Another band aid to cover the wound we continue on the journey to realize a product that is so clear my body and mind yearn for it. The journey is very lonely. Times nothing seems to work or make sense for a really long time. It gets very depressing. Very lonely. Everyone is talking but you can’t hear them cause you’re so focused on making this a reality. I love it. I have grown so much it scares me sometimes. I have to continue working toward that goal. I have made it my reality. I’d steal the heavens to make it happen. The vision is grand and it has become that problem that makes me lose sleep and sigh awkwardly. I must see this to the end. If the product never turns out as great, I’ll still be happy for I would have achieved something: The satisfaction of actually putting something in the hands of people.
Mental Famous 